Dear Virgo Rising,

Welcome to October! The through line this month, for you anyway, is trust and tenderness. Essentially it's about surrender: bravely hoping for the best and holding yourself through the process of not knowing. As a fellow rising, I know it's tough for us not to be in control, and just as tough not to be hard on ourselves and everyone else. But this month wants us to stop buying the story that we failed. We don't need to push through alone. We can hibernate a little where it's appropriate, set boundaries where we need to, and ask for the tending we so desperately need. Before we move into the energetics of the month, let me give you a quick snapshot of the astrology—

From October 3rd through November 13th, Venus stations retrograde across your third and second houses, in Scorpio and then Libra. On October 10th there's a New Moon in Libra in your second house of personal finances, self-worth, and self-esteem. On October 24th, Mercury stations retrograde in Scorpio in your third house. And on October 25th, the Full Moon in Taurus sits high in the sky in your ninth house.

Before we go any deeper with the astrology, let’s look at your emotional landscape of October through the lens of the tarot. Your theme for October is the Five of Swords. In its most generic depiction, this is the card of feeling like we're messing up pretty badly. It's a card of confrontation, both internal and external, of having our mental defenses up. But the interpretation I've found to be astoundingly more accurate is that it shows up when a part of us believes we've done wrong, that we should have chosen differently. And while those stories can feel wholly valid in the moment, more often than not they're untrue. They're a mental storm rather than the objective reality of what actually happened.

So the wisdom this month, especially with all these retrogrades already asking for review and reconsideration, is to let the mental storm pass without buying into the story. Don't grip the narrative that you've done it all wrong, and especially not the narrative that you are somehow fundamentally bad, terrible, or guilty. Sometimes we do owe an apology. Sometimes we do owe an amends, or need to change our behavior. But guilting and shaming ourselves to the extreme is really just a form of self-punishment that blocks our ability to take ownership and actually make things right. In my 12-step program, the most insightful thing my first sponsor ever told me about making amends was that being overly groveling, profusely crying in shame and embarrassment, is actually a disservice to the person you're apologizing to, because then they're not only witnessing your apology, they also have to take care of you through it. You can be sincere, and showing emotion is fine, but when we over-indulge our shame, it stops us from doing the real work of accountability, which sounds like: I'm not a bad person, but I wish I'd done this differently, and I'm sorry for the way it hurt you.

That's what witnessing the Five of Swords in my own life has taught me. To actually discover where I owe an apology or need to change, I first have to get the mental storm of shame out of the way. As a fellow Virgo rising, we hold ourselves to irrational standards, and we can hold other people to those same standards, becoming perfectionists in the most extreme sense when we're living in our shadow. Self-forgiveness is one of the most important tools we can practice, because it lets us be more compassionate with everyone around us. This is likely a big part of Venus and Mercury retrograde for you, since both begin in Scorpio in your third house of mental perception and communication. Reviewing and interrogating your perception of your circumstances is crucial this month. Just remember that the first story you tell yourself, if it makes you feel fundamentally terrible, is probably not the final conclusion the universe would like you to draw. Once the storm clears, and clearing it is much of your work, you'll almost certainly see your situation in a much clearer light by the end of the month.

Your inner work for October is the Four of Pentacles, a card of sacred, necessary bodily rest and replenishment. This is your hibernation period, the time to hold onto your routines and whatever makes you feel safe, to listen to what your body is actually capable of, and to consider what it's asking for: maybe rest, maybe space, maybe restoration. What's interesting is that Pentacles aren't only about the body. They also relate to resourcing and finances, and when Venus retrogrades into Libra around the 24th or 25th, it enters your second house of personal finances. So this month you're reassessing what you care about, what you're creating, what you're spending money on, and how you're making it. The Four of Pentacles can feel a little stingy, but it's really a reminder to hold onto what you want to hold onto without viewing that as a bad thing. Sometimes we do have to tighten the belt. Sometimes the move is to look in your own closet and enjoy what you already have rather than jumping on the fast-fashion bandwagon.

In my book Magic Days, I describe this card as conservation. It's the feeling of holding onto what gives me grounding, and recognizing that adding more financial stress to my bucket would sabotage the work I already have to do this month. So this is a card of boundaries, with yourself and with others: taking the room and space you need without apology, not overextending yourself physically or financially, and reaching for what feels accessibly good while letting the rest wait. We might not buy a million things this month to fill some god-sized hole, but we can reach for the stuffed animal we've had since childhood, pet the dog, go sit under a tree. In its more negative form this is a card of stinginess, but for me it's a reminder that I have everything I need if I can just relax, slow down, and refill rather than push and add on. This is about nourishment, not laziness.

And then, your external action for the month is Strength reversed. Upright, this card is about facing what frightens us with an open, curious, undefended heart, meeting the inner beast and taming it. Reversed, the courage you're seeking might need some support. Sometimes the bravest thing we can do is ask for help. I'll speak for myself. I've been working through pretty severe PTSD from physical abuse I experienced as a child, and I used to think the braver thing was to face it alone and not burden anyone. But the other day, when a hard memory came up, I let myself just cry in my husband's arms. I didn't explain what I was experiencing, I just leaned on him physically and let him hold the space. Crying on someone isn't something I'm prone to, but it felt good to lean on a person I felt safe with.

So the action this month is giving yourself permission to be vulnerable enough to say that this scary thing you're confronting is worthy of support, rather than white-knuckling it alone. Since your other cards are the Five of Swords and the Four of Pentacles, Strength reversed is a reminder that we're only as hard on others as we are on ourselves. If we're not accustomed to asking for help, of course we'll expect other people to brave it alone too. So notice where you've been trying to be strong in isolation, and why, and consider how that's made it harder to be compassionate with others. By letting people help you meet what's scary inside you, you might find it isn't so scary after all. It's just the thing that makes you human. That's the beauty of Strength: the inner lion, the wild animal, has a purity to it, none of the façades people carry. The fear body, the animal body, the lizard brain can all feel intimidating to get to know, but when we do it knowing we can call on support, it becomes even ten percent less scary. Vulnerability and support are where your real strength will lie this month.

As with anything in life, take what you like and leave the rest with this horoscope.

Grateful to be in this cosmic journey alongside you,

Nadine